Sing to me, slowly,

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 20:28:36 GMT

jk, amalia was upset over something with her cousin. but she's good now :) yay. i miss her a lot.

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:57:43 GMT

fml.

Sun, 24 May 2009 17:16:09 GMT

Helloooo! Eeeee today's beautiful. I just wish it was a little warmer. I'm going on the boat avec Maman soon :) I cannot wait for summer.

Yesterday Travis and I went to the flea market. And I fell in love with this deep purple hippie dress. Too bad I'm broke! Uhg. Afterwards, we went to the nature center by my mom's house and saw a deer while we were walking through the woods! I tried to follow her lol, but it didn't work.

I'm on board! Fabulous. It's absolutely crazy to think that I'm going to be a senior. I'm not sure how I feel about next years board. 5 girls? I would have rather it been 4. I don't know. Anddd I really think Kate should have gotten in over Amalia. I love Amalia to death but I'm not sure if she'll be an effective leader. I think the company voted her in because she's likable. I feel bad. Board elections aren't supposed to be a popularity contest. Plus Kate is a senior. Amalia has another year. We'll see .. blahhh sorry if I sound bitchy! I'm sure everything will work out just fine!

I'm in Trish's blackbox. I'm excited. It's the first time I've had a good serious role, so it's a great learning experience. And next years MIFA show is serious! I'm pumped. I hope I can pull off serious. Silly is simple.

The whole John and Kate Plus 8 thing makes me so sad :[

My mom wants a gun?! Whaaaat.

I feel like I have a lot more to say. But i need to get moving.

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 17:29:55 GMT

hi. i'm bored in government.
but travis taught me how to get onto livejournal. yay!
i'm just really notttt motivated to do anything.
all i can think about is choir. i hope we do well!
sam says hi.
bobby like flipped out in choir today. i worry about him sometimes. he looks so mad all the time. people are afraid of him lol. so when he came into government ( he sits behind me) i asked him why he was so upset and what he said made me wanna like cry. he told me about how his "friends" make fun of him all the time and when he trys to talk to them about it they just laugh. i told him that they werent very good friends and he shouldnt hang out with them. and he replied by saying "i know but this is the first year i actually have friends. i dont want to be alone again, ya know? its hard for me to make friends." i feel awful. i think they just keep him around so they can harass him. oh and sam and i just realized he's sitting super close to us and he probably heard us talking. uh oh. we didnt say anything mean though. we just feel bad. anywho. the bells gonna ring soon.
yep it just did.
ice cream.
choir!
yay k bye.

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 20:09:31 GMT

i drove on the highway today. yayyy go me.
uhg its going to snow tonight. pleaseee take me somewhere warm!

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:45:12 GMT

i surprised myself today :D
i ran twice around the block instead of once ! yay lol.
i feel good. now i'm going to take a bubble bath.
ohh the little things in life :)

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 20:18:28 GMT

it's beautiful outside <3

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 21:42:55 GMT

oh and i love my mom and my dad. i forgot how good it feels when your parents are proud of you :)

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 02:52:28 GMT

this morning i woke up with a headache and a sore throat. i knew it was going to get worse, so i stayed home, ate lots of oranges, and went to the doctor asap. i am NOT losing my voice! muahahaha, take that, sickness.

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 19:48:04 GMT

i decided i'm going to take better care of myself. that's my new years resolution. i went to the gym with my dad yesterday .. for like the first time since summer. it felt good ! then i proceeded to drink a protein smoothie and fry myself in a tanning bed. weee.

i bought a prom dress already. a little early, yes, but oh well. it was fate ! anywho, i try it on like almost every week to a) see if it still fits, and b) make sure i'm still head over heels in love with it. so i'm sitting in front of the computer in my dress right now. probably not a good idea. i should go change.

i applied for lots of jobs today! yay. i hope i get hired at the gym. it would be an excuse to excersize more.

my dad's going to quit smoking for the new year :D

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 19:12:30 GMT

i had a 102 temp this morning, eek ! i took some antibiotics and i'm already feeling a lot better.

zacks 18th birthday is tomorrow. i have a feeling i'll see him for the first time since we broke up .. hmm.
were on really good terms, i guess. i still talk to him all the time. we've both agreed that we love eachother, but we can't handle the relationship.

blahh i'm kind of scared ?

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 00:07:37 GMT

so i was sick today. and i wasn't at school, therefore i didn't go to honk rehearsal. but it was also the final dress for blackbox. and i wasn't about to leave molly without an actor, she's stressing out enough as is. so i showed up...and got yelled at by mr guay. even though i emailed him earlier explaining everything.

how many times have actors stayed home but showed up to rehearsal during tech/production week? lots. uhg. if it was HIS final dress rehearsal, he would've wanted me there.

*sigh* he'll be over it tomorrow.

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:16:03 GMT

so i was really bummed about how the weather turned out. it was supposed to snow sooo much more.

idk. i guess i'm happy. of course i still think about him, i love him. i just couldn't handle the ups and downs in the relationship anymore. it was tearing me apart. maybe one day, if it's meant to be, we'll find eachother again. i wouldn't mind. in fact, i'd like a future with him. we really did have a good thing going... crappy circumstances just got the best of us.

he feels like i gave up on him. he keeps telling me it was the biggest mistake i've ever made and he'll always resent me for it. and he said theres absolutely no turning back now. he told me i left him with nothing, he doesn't even know where to turn to, how could i do this to him, blahblahblah. he really knows what to say to get to me.

the other day i called to see if i could pick up my stuff. i was expecting him to be bitter, like always, but out of nowhere he told me he missed me... and i started sobbing. then he called back later, once he was home, and he was absolutely emotionless again. i wish he would stop the hard-ass act and really tell me what's on his mind. i hate being the pathetic, emotional wreck.

i hate that he can get inside my head and make me feel ... regretful. i don't think i regret what i did... i think it just hurts me to see him hurting. i want him to be happy.

hmph!

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 17:07:15 GMT

i'm doing just fine. in fact, i'm happy. and i'm proud of that :)
happy thanksgiving !! <333

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 01:12:55 GMT

i just talked to my best friend scott, who also happens to be zacks best friend ...

8:04pm Scott

i wouldn't judge you for what happened, it wouldn't change my views on you. it wouldn't even make me mad at you. it was your choice and your choice is entitled to you

8:06pm Lanie

thank you .. that means a lot.

8:07pm Scott

i'm not like a lot of people

i've been through enough

i've learned that my friends judged me and got mad at me for my choices but it's stupid

because it's my life

ya know

it's your life, you make your choices i'll still support you

as your friend

8:08pm Lanie

:)

that's why he's my best friend

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 18:00:38 GMT

i'm in honk now (!)
i broke up with zack
i need to convince myself that i'm strong enough to be without him

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 01:51:08 GMT

soooooo i didn't make honk. i was really uspset at first, mostly with myself for picking such a crappy song. but i guess if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be.

i didn't really want to be in crew at first. but then i realized that i would just miss everyone way too much. also, it's not that i don't want to do crew ... i just don't want to do LIGHTS crew, which is the only one i've been in. ha but of course i wasn't thinking and i put that down on my application as my first choice. stupid stupid stupid. now that i took the time to think things through, i realized that i REALLYY want to be on costumes. for several reasons, actually ... a) i get to be creative b) this show's gonna have really cute costumes c) i'll have 4 areas of experience which makes me eligible for the scholarship next year and d) i'll get to work closer with the cast, aka my only friends <3. so i sent mr. guay an email about it and i'm going to talk to him tomorrow. i hope he understands.

this really was an awful week. BUT YAY BREAK IS SOON !

i feel like me and zack have barely talked this week, it's weird. *sigh* .. i wish things weren't so boring . i wish he was happy. i understand he has a lot going on, but he doesn't handle it well. he's down all the time. it's miserable. i love him either way, i just wanna be able to laugh with him again.

i'm going to go watch house and eat peanut butter from the jar. travis may come over ! that would cheer me up.

i know only like 3 or 4 people actually read this, but i just want to say that i really appriceate and love all my friends.
honestly, i could not ask for better friends then the ones i've met through theatre. i know i can talk to any of you at anytime, about anything .. and you'd actually care. that means a lot <3333 i hope everyone knows that i'm there for them as well.

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 03:11:42 GMT

he's sad, so i'm sad. but i can't help it.
i hate that.
i have a feeling this is going to be an awful week.
i was gone for way too long. 4 normal days = 45345984 school days. kill me now. i think i'm going to go to sleep, i've gotten enough done.

at least i have ~~something~~ someone to look forward to.

<333

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 20:48:52 GMT

welp. i've been sick for the last two days. ick. i'll most likely be at school tomorrow, though. yay.

being sick has it's benefits ..
1) i finished a book and started the next one in the series
2) i picked up my guitar again
3) i think i found audition material for honk !
4) ice cream

love you allll

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 02:47:30 GMT

I'm just in an awful mood today. And I really don't know why.

Can I please go back here? I was happy. And it was warm. And I miss my best friend.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 02:12:12 GMT

so i finally figured out how to change up this layout a bit. fantastic. i think im going to go change into something more comfortable, knit, and go to sleep. i have homework, but whatever. it was a long day. i'll do it 1st hour.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 01:02:31 GMT

ahhhh. i have been on livejournal for over an hour and i still have no idea how to make it look a little better.